Thursday, September 15, 2005


The HUFF 2004 medals are out and about. The medal design and the delivery delay has provided inspiration for one of The HUFF veterans who posted this very funny item on the Ultra Listserv. (Obviously one of the most politically incorrect HUFF veterans but Rich is not going to let PC squeamishness stand in the way of an over-the-top creative streak.)

My name is Trouby Kool y'awl
An' hey like I doan nevah hafta crawl
I walks to my mail box an' there IT is
A big fat veelope with a postage-paid viz
Comin' from The HUFF, y'all
Hip-hop hooray, y'all
It's been a-comin' an' a-comin' for nearly one year
I told th' squeeze we's celebratin' so bring me a beer
Get down, y'all, raise up yer hans
Boogie kool, y'all, all y'all bitchiz and mans
Inside tha veelope is dis cardboardlike s---
Ya rips open th' card, y'all, an' there IT sit
Dis cool steel circle, y'all, with words around IT
An' some figgers an' names I doan know a bit
Like, Dude, whatza "chief," A "Chief Coesse"?
Like right now my Hoosier history's in such a messe
This chump onna front's got pecs an' delts
Wearin' feathers an' claws an' mebbe fur pelts
Gots bling danglin' throo holes in eacha his ears
Lookin' so cock, y'all, it blings me to tears
But th' dude onna back's got too much pelt
With a dead president hat mebbe made outa felt
Uniform, dude?
Like some kinda Red Coatin' man?
Skin's lookin' dark but mebbe jus' tan
Can't tell Indian or maybe he's French
I seen dat name on a Bourbon Street bench
"Coesse"? "Genovese"? "Thibaddeaux" jive?
There ain't no Indian chief like that alive
So, Duke, whatchoo mailin' us anyway, Dude?
I doan wanna rap diss or seem like a prude
But dat "chief" onna front is practically nude!
An' I doan gawk, y'all, I doan wanna seem lewd
But right dare on dis medal raht down below IT
Dat "chief's" showin' nipple on his left t--!
So whuh doeszit say? "The HUFF 50K"?
My December '04 Finisher's Medal just came TODAY??
== ======== === ======= ===== === ==== ========
Yurz troubly,
HUFF 'n' PUFF Daddy
with his "Postage PAID Ft. Wayne, IN,Permit #760" worth 50 cents

[All kidding aside, I KNEW my buddy Mitch would come through. His HUFF 50K definitely belongs with first-class events. And well worth your '05 early entry fee of 3,500cents!]

Yankee Folly of the Day:Seriously now, all these Indiana printed materials go to great lengths to explain the historical significance of the NEXT finisher's medal to be had in a couple MORE months, but not one word explains who the fritz this "Chief Coesse" NOW is, emblazoned thru some metallurgical process taking nine months and struck within this circular chunk sitting right herein my hand! Enquiring minds of pseudo-Native-Americanbookworms need to know!

Reprinted by permission of the author. All right retained by the author, Rich Limacher. Content is the sole responsibility of the author.

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